and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
