STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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