yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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