just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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