bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
