Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
