just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
time to smoke my breakfast
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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