ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
