tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
