Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
