I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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