i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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