You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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