I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize