Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
