Define "chronic" masturbator.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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