dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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