just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
