It's like God shit irony all over that family
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
