return my video game
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize