You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
