I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
