you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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