Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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