Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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