i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
