I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize