I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
