I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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