maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
