3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
