these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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