How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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