No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
