is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize