We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
