I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
