I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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