U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
