Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
