The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
