i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish i was in the wii world.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
