Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
