i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
