Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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