So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
