Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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