do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
