Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
