come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
