'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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