Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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