I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
