Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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