You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
