if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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