More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
