Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
